Posted by Samantha on January 12, 2002:
In Reply to: Re: OCD-Scrup-Doubt posted by Sampson on January 12, 2002:
I pray for truth evey night and all the while doubting thoughts are flashing through my head. I wonder who I'm praying to, if anyone's listening. I read my bible almost, but not quite, compulsively all the while wondering if it's true or if its just a history/mythology built up around certain people.... I don't want to doubt. I want to just believe, but I keep wondering if I'm just deluding myself. And even as I have these thoughts I wonder if I'm going to go to hell for doubting God in the first place. The afterlife scares me. To go on forever and ever? in heaven or hell, I just cannot fathom that. I feel guilty for doubting and every night (and several times a day) I ask over and over again for forgiveness for doubting, but it doesn't help.