>>��Hello,
>>�� I too suffer from religious obsessions. They are different from yours but just as tormenting. I understand completely how upset you must feel. I believe in God but I have these truly horrible thoughts that I am worshiping false idols. If I eat a favorite food twice in a day then I am worshiping the food. It is of course nonsense. The thing that bothers me the most is the fact that the thoughts feel so real. I am on Effexor and 4 other medications that are not working very well. I was actually getting better about a month ago and then for no apparent reason I took a turn for the worse. I also have severe scruples. I bought something today and then about 3 hours later returned it to the store for a refund. The instant thought in my mind was that I did something very wrong. The voice inside of me said you will be punished;you won't function. I went food shopping and the OCD voice would not let up. Before I had scruples I used to buy things all the time and change my mind and return them to the store for a refund. Please feel free to e-mail me; maybe we can help each other in some way.
>>��Kathy in Calif.
Jean. Bless your heart. I would very much like to rescue you from this torment, but I, like Kathy, suffer from religious OCD too. You mention you have gone to counselors and pastors. What have they told you? Has anything they've said help? I really don't know what to say. I used to really suffer from my own obsessions about salvation. But recently, I too, have noticed my mind thinking of terrible things concerning God. It's like the thoughts just seem to casually attach themselves to whatever I'm thinking of...At first I realize the reason I'm having this thought is that I have OCD/these are unwanted, sick thoughts, and so I dismiss the thought/kind if forget it. BUT, in the next moment I'll have an uneasy feeling that maybe I just let a sin go with-out asking God for forgiveness for it, and I'll rethink the thought because I want to deal with it. But then I think, "I just intentionally brought that thought to mind"...so I decide to ask God for forgiveness. I do so quickly hoping the whole mess will leave me. It usually does, but I know that I can get wrapped up in compulsive praying for forgiveness. I've had a lot of trouble in the past with compulsively praying for forgiveness.....it lead me a couple times to near suicide attempts.....Like you, I was terribly desperate for peace/sick of the torment. Fortunately I lived. Although I still have problems with my OCD today, I enjoy my life. I have hope that someday you too will find your life better; that you will be generally happy, and glad you never committed suicide. I hope you can somehow come to a realization that these thoughts are not birthed by you, but rather by the disease OCD that dwells in your mind. Maybe it would help to realize these thoughts are not your responsibility....that you don't need to ask for forgiveness for them, or feel guilty for them. Perhaps it would help you to know that when these thoughts are going on in your mind, YOU ARE NOT SINNING. Organs in the body can get diseases, as can the mind. OCD is a disease of the mind, and unwanted , horrible thoughts are a part of it. I hate when people preach to me like I'm doing with you...I'm sorry. I want so much to help because I can relate to what your going through. I'm really hoping something I say will help you, even a little. OCD is a cruel disease. I know full well that someday I may go through something like your going through... that my OCD could become seemingly unbearable again. You are not alone!! You are absolutely precious to God, Jean. As you know, God sacrificed His Son for you. He still would have done it had you been the only human in existance. He loves you that much (always has...always will). I have a rather new computer and I don't yet know how to e-mail on it. I'll try to e-mail you. I hope you get this message on the board or on e-mail. I sincerely hope to hear from you. God Bless you Jean. Jim