Re: gay or hocd?--a contraversial hypothesis

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Posted by Greg on May 19, 2002:
In Reply to: Re: gay or hocd?--a contraversial hypothesis posted by Shannon on May 19, 2002:
>>��>>If I read correctly what Shannon wrote, I think there's some truth in it. I don't know that I draw the same rigid theological lines he does, but yes, people with OCD do get overly freaked out that indeed we may be capable of enjoying gay sex.
>>��As for the other subjects -- child molestations, harming fears -- this doesn't apply. No one with true OCD gets any enjoyment whatsoever out of these things. The people who truly enjoy them just go out and do them. They're called sociopaths. (The same principle generally applies for practicing homosexuals also. I don't mean they are sociopaths. They merely accept their sexuality and live.)
>>��I believe few people are 100 percent heterosexual in their fantasy lives. My recurrent homosexual thought is going down on a man. At times I think I might enjoy it. I've mostly learned to accept that and go on. When my stress gets out of control, though, when things spiral out of hand, those thoughts can take hold of me and send me into a true OCD panic. An anti-anxiety drug, Klonopin, and regular exposure exercises have been big helps.
>>��It's hard to imagine, however, a circumstance in which I might act on a gay thought. If I do, I do. I don't know if that would necessarily peg me as a homosexual. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ARRIVE AT THAT ATTITUDE, THAT IT WON'T BE THE END OF THE WORLD IF YOU DO INDEED HAVE A SAME SEX ENCOUNTER. As long as we see gay sex as the absolute horror of horrors we will struggle.
>>��The difference between people with HOCD and regular folks is that regular folks don't persecute themselves over these thoughts. They shrug their shoulders, finish the day at work and go home and screw their wives/girlfriends.
>>��I think there is an element of male homoeroticism in the straight world. Why do athletes like to hug each other after a big play? Where did the pat on the butt come from? Why are good-looking men nearly as popular among other men as they are among women?
>>��Think about it.

>>��Greg

>>��>>��Hello everyone. I have a couple of thoughts on Shannon's post. First of all, it is a new idea that probably most of us have not thought of before, and therefore do not agree with it. I suffer from hocd and I was a little hurt and surprised by some of the ideas in her post (I also used to suffer from scrupulosity). However, just the same as fool's post not too long ago, this is a new idea and thought that we need to listen to. Do most of us agree with it, no, I don't agree with it either. BUT please instead of getting angry with a new idea, simply accept it as a POSSIBLE (not very likely) theory and move on. The only way to beat this disease is not to let post like this ones, or fool's, or anyone else's hurt our feelings, because we all know what happens then: we get thrown into our ocd panic attacks and spirals, we cant stop thinking about it, we think that it somehow relates to us, and then the anxiety grows and grows and grows, believe me, Ive been there. The only way to beat this disease is to accept that there are different possibilities but it doesnt mean that they would come true. Could I get into a plane accident tomorrow? sure I could, is it likely? NO! But it is A POSSIBILITY. I think a wonderful example of a great post would be Straitye's. He simply addressed the issue, stated his point of view, (which was more accurate because it was from a first hand account), and addressed that the possibility is always there. That is what is so important. Now, to Shannon, Im sorry to say that I do not agree with your theory on hocd. In fact, I think that it probably hurt people's feelings because it probably came across as being gay is a sin, which I dont believe is true, but people who read that and who have hocd might worry that IF they were to "become" gay (which again, is NOT IN THE LEAST LIKELY, pretty much 100% dont), it might hurt the healing process. Again, our goal is NOT to find out our sexual preference in the end, our goal is to accept the fact that the possibilty and uncertainty is there and just live with it. (just like Straitye stated). Is it easy, no, of course not. I have had ocd for years, and most recently my worst episode of hocd for the past 8 months, I have known that I have ocd for about 3 months, and Im still only about 25% better. But again, I know that in the end I will be ok, and I have to stop reading things (articles, posts, etc) or hearing/seeing things and thinking automatically that it in someway relates to me, and Im guessing thats why the people who responded came across upset. Sorry this was so long, but I had to put my two cents in on Shannon's post. God Bless.

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>>  >>��>>If I read correctly what Shannon wrote, I think there's some truth in it. I don't know that I draw the same rigid theological lines he does, but yes, people with OCD do get overly freaked out that indeed we may be capable of enjoying gay sex.
>>  >>��As for the other subjects -- child molestations, harming fears -- this doesn't apply. No one with true OCD gets any enjoyment whatsoever out of these things. The people who truly enjoy them just go out and do them. They're called sociopaths. (The same principle generally applies for practicing homosexuals also. I don't mean they are sociopaths. They merely accept their sexuality and live.)
>>  >>��I believe few people are 100 percent heterosexual in their fantasy lives. My recurrent homosexual thought is going down on a man. At times I think I might enjoy it. I've mostly learned to accept that and go on. When my stress gets out of control, though, when things spiral out of hand, those thoughts can take hold of me and send me into a true OCD panic. An anti-anxiety drug, Klonopin, and regular exposure exercises have been big helps. 
>>  >>��It's  hard to imagine, however, a circumstance in which I might act on a gay thought. If I do, I do. I don't know if that would necessarily peg me as a homosexual. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ARRIVE AT THAT ATTITUDE, THAT IT WON'T BE THE END OF THE WORLD IF YOU DO INDEED HAVE A SAME SEX ENCOUNTER. As long as we see gay sex as the absolute horror of horrors we will struggle.
>>  >>��The difference between people with HOCD and regular folks is that regular folks don't persecute themselves over these thoughts. They shrug their shoulders, finish the day at work and go home and screw their wives/girlfriends.
>>  >>��I think there is an element of male homoeroticism in the straight world. Why do athletes like to hug each other after a big play? Where did the pat on the butt come from? Why are good-looking men nearly as popular among other men as they are among women?
>>  >>��Think about it.

>>  >>��Greg

>>  >>��>>��Hello everyone.  I have a couple of thoughts on Shannon's post.  First of all, it is a new idea that probably most of us have not thought of before, and therefore do not agree with it.  I suffer from hocd and I was a little hurt and surprised by some of the ideas in her post (I also used to suffer from scrupulosity).  However, just the same as fool's post not too long ago, this is a new idea and thought that we need to listen to.  Do most of us agree with it, no, I don't agree with it either.  BUT please instead of getting angry with a new idea, simply accept it as a POSSIBLE (not very likely) theory and move on.  The only way to beat this disease is not to let post like this ones, or fool's, or anyone else's hurt our feelings, because we all know what happens then: we get thrown into our ocd panic attacks and spirals, we cant stop thinking about it, we think that it somehow relates to us, and then the anxiety grows and grows and grows, believe me, Ive been there.  The only way to beat this disease is to accept that there are different possibilities but it doesnt mean that they would come true.  Could I get into a plane accident tomorrow? sure I could, is it likely? NO! But it is  A POSSIBILITY.  I think a wonderful example of a great post would be Straitye's.  He simply addressed the issue, stated his point of view, (which was more accurate because it was from a first hand account), and addressed that the possibility is always there.  That is what is so important.  Now, to Shannon, Im sorry to say that I do not agree with your theory on hocd.  In fact, I think that it probably hurt people's feelings because it probably came across as being gay is a sin, which I dont believe is true, but people who read that and who have hocd might worry that IF they were to "become" gay (which again, is NOT IN THE LEAST LIKELY, pretty much 100% dont), it might hurt the healing process.  Again, our goal is NOT to find out our sexual preference in the end, our goal is to accept the fact that the possibilty and uncertainty is there and just live with it.  (just like Straitye stated).  Is it easy, no, of course not.  I have had ocd for years, and most recently my worst episode of hocd for the past 8 months, I have known that I have ocd for about 3 months, and Im still only about 25% better.  But again, I know that in the end I will be ok, and I have to stop reading things (articles, posts, etc) or hearing/seeing things and thinking automatically that it in someway relates to me, and Im guessing thats why the people who responded came across upset.  Sorry this was so long, but I had to put my two cents in on Shannon's post.  God Bless.

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