I am a 35 year old woman with 3 sons. As a child I can recall getting into trouble for behaviors I couldnt explain. I always had energy. I can recall always being angry at the world in general, in fact I can remember getting into petty arguements with my

I am a 35 year old woman with 3 sons. As a child I can recall getting into trouble for behaviors I couldnt explain. I always had energy. I can recall always being angry at the world in general, in fact I can remember getting into petty arguements with my sister as a kid and on a couple of occassions, I put a knife to her throat. (She alive today), I knew she had asthma and purposely get her asthma to act up which would result in her being hospitalized and put on oxygen. I lied cheated and stole. I can recall behaving in a manner that was more consistent wit that of someone who was atleast 10 years younger than my age. I was always told "you play too much." or "Your soooo immature".I recall being in the military at the age of 18 but i felt like a 10-12 year old maybe younger. In fact I was discharged as a result of my impulsiveness. I had a few accquaintences but never any close friends and when I did get a friend that I didnt push away, it was as though I obsessed over em. I fell to drug use at the age of 16 didnt have sex for first time until I was 17, I was always obsessive over alot of things especiall people. I guess ZI still am now to an extent, but not nearly like I was before. I always wondered what was wrong with me and why I kept getting in trouble. I never meant to do the things I did, It was almost like there was a whole other person to me that I had no control over. Almost like an evil twin. I was labled a troublemaker and was told would not succeed. Today I have a full time job, am not nearly as impulsive but have a very short fuse,i tdont lie cheat and stel and aside from being a crapppy abusive mother to my one son, live a fairly stable life. . Like I said, I have 3 sons, 2 of which are ADHD. My oldest son who has ADHD I am discovering is JUST LIKE I WAS when I was a kid. His behaviors bring out that evil twin in me that I thought was forever gone, but as my son grows older and becomes more impulsive, the more my evil angry twin rears her ugly head. He doesnt mean to get in trouble and explained to me that alot of times finds himself wondering what is wrong with him just as I did when I was younger. I am calmer now for the most part but didnt start to calm down until the last 4yrs. Please tell me there is some kind of diagnosis ofr this. I would hate to see my son struggle through life just as I did. Please Help me!!! I REALLY WANT TO PUT AN END TO THIS MADNESS. I NEED ANSWERS