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Hello,
I have posted on here not too long ago regarding questions about sexuality. I have made some progress and I thought that I might share this with others as well as get some professional opinion (Dr Williams, if you'd be so kind).
Essentially, I have been straight since I was born and have only desired women. I have had some same sex fantasies before but nothing more than your usual person and I was certainly never attracted to men. Unfortunately now, I feel anxious and nervous now when fantasising about women and I get nothing from it. I had been having some rough times before all this happened and was stressed about not fancying women again because I have always wanted to get married and have kids e.t.c.
Weirdly I don't get anxious when I think of myself with a man, even though I don't want to be gay and I have fancied women all my life. Thats why I originally had my concerns that I was gay. I am currently in a relationship with a woman and we have a great sex life when I'm not anxious and I am attracted to her. So why do I have these obsessions about my sexuality?
Some say its HOCD, but I doubt that because despite obsessing about it and not wanting to be that way inclined, I'm not disgusted or anxious when I think about it. I am also fairly certain I'm not gay because I consciously want to be with women and I've been straight for so long and I avoid situations where I would question myself.
I believe that the issue purely lies with my anxiety when I try and think of women in a sexual way. Firstly, I except that there MAY be some same sex attraction. I'm not sure. Doesn't mean I'm not straight, afterall, many straight people can find people of the same sex attractive. Secondly, the reason I will always be anxious is because being straight is important to me. Its how I was born and who I've always enjoyed being.
So what does everyone think? HOCD? Straight man with anxiety problems? Or gay/bisexual man in denial.
m8 i have a same problem whole my life i was straight and i just wanted girls,and now too i get sometimes erected on girls(not always as before).i had ocd before it was a hell but this is confusing,it all begin when my ex girl told me that her ex bf become gay and then my fear creeped in and i was anoxious about it very much but then i saw few storyes here and i lost fear i mean i dont get anxoius anymore but symptoms are still here,i always think of it,i cant stop thinking about it and im never happy,then i say to myself ok maybe im bi but no im not i dont want anything with same-sex person.I just want to be old me to adore and love womens as before,now i dont know im scared if I dont get erection on womens,and yes before i was erected even when i had hocd but then i read on some forum that some of hocd folks cant get erection anymore and since i read it my erection is weaker too, I dont know what is going on here,im confused. sorry for bad englis.. doctor please tell what do you think,is it possible for me to become gay? I even dont like to write that word and when someone jokes on me and tell that im gay i really get insulted,im so lost.
hi
ive just read both of your comment s and i am so worried i dont know what to do.
i have never had sexual thought about men, never had a erection over men but my mind keeps putting really sick sexual thoughts into my head and i feel so terrible that i have thought about it!
i have had many girlfriends and i have loved every minute with them and i just couldnt keep my mind of them. I used to look at woman all the time, in the street, on the computer, magazines....everywhere. and i used to be sexualy attracted to them but since ive had these stupid thoughts i just havent, its hard aswell to get a erection over them and stuff.
i have no tendenceys of a gay male but my mind keeps telling em i have and i am. even tho i know in my heart that i am not.
I have talked to my family about it and my mother said shes went through this at my age and look a her now married and 3 kids. she told me a stupid pahse that will pass. the mind plays stupid horrible sick tricks on your mind because its horrible and whats you to think the worst. I also went to see my doctor and he told me also it sounds like a phase and that i should go out more and to take my mind of it and as soon as i know it it will be gone in a instance. i know im writeing to much but i just want people to know how im feeling.
ive herd of this HOCD and i think i have got it.
can anyone just reasure me im just being stupid and im not gay. please?
hi and first of all ur not gay just as im not and just almost all of the people here,i talked to my father too he said that its just a phase he said a phase that everyone goes thru but the feel is so strong,and i myself was always watching every damn girl i see and i was so enjoying them more then nothing and i had girls and was sexualy erected on them and it was a great i was feeling free and good but now im never happy couse i dont know anymore what i want,i mean i want females but my mind tells me other and i dont know really what i want,and i cant stop testing myself everywhere i go all of the time since i wake up in the morning till i go to sleep,and yeah whole my life i saw milion times naked guys in locker room and i was never erected or something like that couse im training sport whole my life and it every day and it doesent arouse me,i just want my old self back,it all started when my ex girl told me how her ex bf become gay then i was fearing what if i do that but in time i lost fear but symptoms are still here...hope ur be ok..sry for bad english..
Ok I'm in the same pickle as the first commentor ( except for the girlfriend thing). I too fantazised about being with girls all my 17 years of my life ( btw I'm a guy).
thanks for the comment back :)
i dont know what has happened to me but my thoughts are nearly all gone. i have some thoughts still that make me unsertain but i know they are just stupid thoughts trying to worrie me again.
But there is still one thing i worrie about, because i am being happier, have i let the thoughts beat me and i am gay? or am i in denial? (even tho i hate it?)
I know im being stupid. and i know im on the way to hopefully a full recovery and i know i will go back to the way i was. you have just got to keep telling yourself that :).
the thing is i know i will not do anything about it,i will not flirt with some guy or something,but why do i still worry then,i had ocd before this and the symptoms are same but i dont feel fear at hocd dont know why,right now i cant image myself as a happy person maybe one day but not today...and the thought will beat you only when u do it,what u think of it that doesent make u gay..and yea my mind always go to past and searches the signs that makes me gay,i dont know,its like im possed by something its like i have another person in my self i dont know whats happening,i started to ruin my life i dont go out as i used to go and rarely meet up with friends i do nothing,and still i dont know im i straight..
mate u are straight, its just this bugger of HOCD!!!! i dont like going out much and see my mates, which i know is wrong. i went to go see my doctor and he said just go out and do more things and it will just leave my mind.
im starting to get over it but im still worried that im not to attracted to woman that much still. but i think its because you are telling your mind that u want to like them even tho you dont know your doing it and it just stops the attraction.
another thing is does any of you guys try to think about girls so much but its really hard then your mind puts in horrible gay thought?