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Dear friend,
It is not uncommon for men to look at other women. Men are very visually oriented and will tend to admire beautiful bodies. Annoying as this may be, this in and of itself should not be cause for alarm. The other concerns you mention however are much more serious. The porn addiction and affairs are an indication of a serious problem. I would not call this an obsession in the clinical sense. I might call it an addiction of sorts. Your husband is using sexual feelings as a way to cope with other uncomfortable emotions that he does not know how to express in a healthy way. I recommend that he seek treatment with a specialist in pornography addiction. If he does not get help you should expect his behavior to continue. Complaining, arguing or reasoning with him will not be sufficient to get him to stop.
Best of luck,
Dr. Williams
Monnica T. Williams, Ph.D., Clinical Psychology
No Cost OCD Treatment: http://www.ocdproject.org