Obsessive relationships

According to John Moore, author of Confusing Love with Obsession, an obsessive relationship is one where “you cannot function as a person on a daily basis without thinking about an object of affection.” He contrasts it love saying that a love relationship is one that is mutually supportive, caring and giving.

Obsessive relationships are often identified by a rapid succession of phone calls or other types of communication, unwanted gifts, and restrictive behaviors which seek to limit your relationships with other people. Of course, there must be a context for this. For instance if you have a wonderful date, and the next day receive flowers, there is likely nothing wrong with that. However, if the date calls after dropping you home, is the first call of the morning, sends flowers followed by texts and calls to your office and wants to see you the next night, some flags may be waving.

Obsessive relationships differ from infatuation in that the person having those feelings cannot function. They are not working or relating with other people while obsessing on their new found object. The gifts and phone calls are meant to control and buy the loyalty of the target which is not healthy and is not love.

Restrictive behaviors also signal an obsession. If you sense that your new love interest is trying to separate you from family and friends, that’s not good.

Ultimately, the obsessed party may threaten suicide if he or she doesn’t get what they want. This is real evidence that they are not functioning in reality. Still, the threat should be taken seriously and intervention should be sought. This not love if someone in the relationship is in agony.

Source: MedicineNet