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I have the most amazing and caring boyfriend of one year atm. But for the past 6 months iv been nothing but depressed about how i look, worried if im good enough for him and EXTREMELY jealous and overprotective of him.
Im an only child and i never got much attention from my parents so when he came in to my life, i got the affection id always wanted.
My dad is aspergic but not severely, and my mum is very lenient and independant.
Before my boyfriend, when i was stressed i screamed at the top of my lungs, cried loudly for attention, slammed doors and hit the walls. It had stopped since he came in to my life but just 2 weeks ago, when he told me he was goin to a concert and also that he had many gigs on the weekends, i got scared and nervous and threw a fit. Then everything piled up and i got very stressed, and with the final comment my dad made - 'grow up and stop being so immature' i burst in to tears, screamed loudly yelling hurtful comments and trashed my entire room ... The thing is i dont actually remembe trashing my room that much. Its very blurry.
Im scared that i will show this to my boyfried, even tho he knows i can be like this from previous events, but not to the extent that i could potentially harm him. I feel like i hate myself and have even thought about taking drugs or anti depressents to calm myself...
Is there something wrong with me?
Thank you for your help
S.
I have the most amazing and caring boyfriend of one year atm. But for the past 6 months iv been nothing but depressed about how i look, worried if im good enough for him and EXTREMELY jealous and overprotective of him.
Im an only child and i never got much attention from my parents so when he came in to my life, i got the affection id always wanted.
My dad is aspergic but not severely, and my mum is very lenient and independant.
Before my boyfriend, when i was stressed i screamed at the top of my lungs, cried loudly for attention, slammed doors and hit the walls. It had stopped since he came in to my life but just 2 weeks ago, when he told me he was goin to a concert and also that he had many gigs on the weekends, i got scared and nervous and threw a fit. Then everything piled up and i got very stressed, and with the final comment my dad made - 'grow up and stop being so immature' i burst in to tears, screamed loudly yelling hurtful comments and trashed my entire room ... The thing is i dont actually remembe trashing my room that much. Its very blurry.
Im scared that i will show this to my boyfried, even tho he knows i can be like this from previous events, but not to the extent that i could potentially harm him. I feel like i hate myself and have even thought about taking drugs or anti depressents to calm myself...
Is there something wrong with me?
Thank you for your help
S.
dear , it is clear u have anger management issues or maybe this is your wrong way of expressing ur feelings , u suppress them so much deep inside and they come out this way ,u r not crazy but u dont know how to express ur feelings the right way , u shouldnt worry about ur boyfreind knowing u have this problem cause if he loves you , he will try to support you as much as he can , mayeb it could be a good ides to explain to ur boyfreind that u have problem expressing ur feeling and in communication . like for example , when he told he was going to a concert , do u know what bothered you so much , is he going alone to the concert without you , do u fear he ll be unfaithfull to you , dont keep ur fears to urself , express them in a calm way , to have a healthy realtionship , u should communicate , talk and listen to what the other person have to say cause sometimes what we fear is unlikeley to happen and trust is a important issue , maybe in ur relationship with ur parents , u were not able to communicate with them as they dont know how to listen but in ur future relationships u can be healthier like in ur realtionship with ur boyfreind , try to communicate with him , talk to him , explain ur fears , open ur heart , he ll open his heart back to you , if this continue , u can use the help of a therapist
I know a friend that is very dear to me that has anger management issues such as the one's you described above. I don't believe that you are crazy, or that you would have an intent to harm someone. It seems you have a lack of self esteem, and self control. It you love your boyfriend as much as you say you do, do as Ninar suggested. Communicate and find a medium between the two of you to fight the good fight of love.