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can we really build up confidence ? my physical appearance make me so weak at heart.
The reasons for confidence are numerous, ranging from life experiences, brain type, personality type, etc. Clearly some people are more confident than others, with confidence seemingly springing naturally from within for some people. Physical appearance can effect ones confidence and sense of self, but you can be the ugliest person in the world and have tons of confidence and be beautiful and have none, so physical appearance does not guarantee a lack of confidence, but certainly can play a role if it was the cause of teasing or other such trauma.
As I said though, some of the most beautiful seemingly confident people can have low self-esteem or major confidence issues too. We see it all the time with Anorexia, Bulimia, people who are addicted to plastic surgery and so on. Our society’s obsession with beauty does wreak havoc on a lot of us.
While there isn’t necessarily a cure for lack of confidence there are ways of strengthening ones confidence through various behavioral techniques, but it is not something you can fix overnight. If you have had years of reinforcing certain reactions it may take a while to un-train some of your responses. It is hard to say exactly what you need to do since I don’t have a lot of information. The best thing to do if this is a major issue in your life is to see a therapist.
All the best,
Dr. Williams
Monnica T. Williams, Ph.D., Clinical Psychology
No Cost OCD Treatment: http://www.ocdproject.org