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Situation: 17. Normal lifestyle. Above average student. Parents married and present. Two caring brothers. Problem: I hate myself. I am grateful for all that I have, yet I seem to want to die. But my life is so awesome. I just hate MYSELF, not life. Why?
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If everything you say about
If everything you say about your family and lifestyle is true, and you truly have no tangible reason to be having these feelings, then it is possible that you could be suffering from a mental disorder such as major depression.
Disorders such as major depression are very real and serious problems, that can have a biological basis. I hate it when I hear people criticizing a rich person for being unhappy or some famous person for committing suicide by saying they are rich/they have everything so they should be happy. It may seem like you have every reason to be happy, but if you have a problem with your brain then you need to be treating it like you would any other illness or disease. That is, by getting help or seeing a medical professional.
The first thing you should do is to schedule an appointment with your doctor or a psychologist. They can help you determine the reason for these feelings. If it is something such as major depression then they can help you get the treatment you need. Sometimes just talking about these problems and making a plan can go a long way as well. It sounds like you have a great family too, so I think telling them how you feel might be a wise step as well. What you are feeling is perfectly normal for someone your age, so keep that in mind and know that there are many ways to treat these feelings you have.
All the best,
Dr. Williams
Monnica T. Williams, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist specializing in OCD
http://www.monnicawilliams.com