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okay heres the deal,ive been having some sort of thinking problems lately.let me tell you a bit of myself,when i was 18 i smoked pot with a friend of mine.it wasnt anything long term,i could literally count how many times ive smoked weed.which is 3 times in my entire life.the first time i smoked,i used a really potent weed,and it gave me a really bad panic attack,and i felt as if i was in a dream and did as well suffer from derealisation.okay,so the second time i smoked weed which was 3 weeks later,i didnt get any bad experience from it.maybe the fact it wasnt that strong.so then i started smoking again after 5 weeks,which i smoked the same type of pot which gave me the bad experience.so obviously,i felt the same effects as i did the first time i did it.okay so thats that,a couple of months later,i was in my shower,i was thinking about what would it be like life after death,and i made a theory in my mind where our soul would be in the 4th dimension after death.all of sudden i had a panic attack in the shower room!!!
i couldnt think straight,and again felt the terror of derealisation.since that day,im worried wether i will go crazy,or i have anxiety.if i think something really deep that is related to the thoughts i had back in my shower room,i could feel another panic attack is coming.so i remained myself calmed and told myself 'your not going crazy,its just a panic attack'.and it worked!
okay so now im 19,and i could feel that panic attacks are no longer are a threat to me.
but the weird thing is,ive been having thoughts of going crazy,and at any moment i could feel like i just woke from my dream and omg reality is just a figment of my imagination.im really scaredddddd(SCAREDDD) right now :(
like idk what to do anymore,ive been reading alot about schizo and psychosis and afraid im going to end up having either.im not even sure wether i have medical history of my mental,and if i did has weed made it any worse ?!
so my questions are.
1)what is wrong with me ?
2)am i having withdrawal symptoms,anxiety or the fact i had my first panic attack during my first pot smoking experience has traumatised me ?.or maybe other type of mental realted illness ?
3)and if i did have a medical history.has mweed made it worse.eventhough im not a chronic pot smoker ?
details:ive never tried other drugs and alcohol in my life before
thank you for listening.and excuse if i did a few english grammar problems.english isnt my first language
please answer my question,im desperate for an answer.everyday i go to the internet and search for my symptoms hoping it isnt anything critical.
(this are the real questions)
I am sorry to hear about the problems you are having right now. I wish I could tell you something reassuring, however I think you are right in that marijuana has made your underlying predisposition for anxiety even worse. I have seen this many times with people like yourself who may smoke pot only once or twice but then end up in the emergency room with symptoms such as panic attacks, anxiety, paranoia, and sometimes something even more serious.
There are many people who can smoke pot recreationally and even daily and not have serious problems. However there are may people like yourself that have some genetic vulnerability that leads to marijuana destabilizing your brain chemistry (often permanently). I would hope it is obvious at this point that you should not have anymore marijuana. I think you should also consider seeing a therapist for your anxiety problems.
Best of luck,
Dr. Williams
Monnica T. Williams, Ph.D., Clinical Psychology
No Cost OCD Treatment: http://www.ocdproject.org
Well, i am no Doctor,and i am 36 years of age, and i can only let u in on my own experiences!
I smoked pot for a good 10-15 years and alot of it.
your symtems sound very similar to mine except mine were at the other end where i experienced to the same effect as yours where i would have a case of panic, paranoia, anxiety what ever the term was for it at the time. It seemed to graduely get worse as time went on and would always be worse after a session if i was in public or around friends etc.
But i decided to stop when i had the effects as you had in your shower, i didnt need to be out in public for paranoia i closed my eyes and would have a freak out of being inside my own mind,
(your not artistic like me are you ?).
That sort of thinking increased to feeling my heart beat and the relisation that my beating heart was what was keeping me alive. That started to scare me to think exactly where was the brink of losing your mind and going nuts, it felt like it was possible as i was only human
( which of course made me paranoid lol )
So i cut the tie and now i dont smoke pot.
Been off it for about 7 years but i know my long term memory would be alot beta if i hadn't done it at all. There was also a case where i was prescribed a pain releif oneday for my back and it was a slow release drug with an opium chemistry to it where i started to get bad anxiety the following day, real bad flushes of un-cofidience and depression lows.
I knew it was the painkiller and would reassure myself this, the effects would come and go for about a week after i stopped taking them.
Now from time to time i get bad low points where i feel very depressed exspecially in the morning where i think it is worse because my body is so relaxed.
I find these times come when times get a bit tougher or security is threatened or where i have so many things that i worry about and always think of worse case scenarios. I think i do this from a combination of having experienced being bitten hard from the simple things and smoking back in my days.
I know of a few woman that have anxiety and never have smoked or done drugs and have to take prescribed medication(Aropax) to keep their mind balanced.
Well i could go on but i think with yourself i would use that sharp mind and imagination you have (oh i know its there!)and tell your self that you are going to control your feelings not to freak out but ride with it for the better and know its just your natural high of life and growing mind!
Exercise both body and mind by reading, learning, art, walking, sport, gym etc is good
Also talk to your General Practioner for advice.
PS. I cant stand exercise lol
Oh my finally someone to relate to!!!
I completely understand the part where you mentioned being paranoid upon closing your eyes.I got that as well,a week before I was extremely paranoid whenever I tried to sleep,i could feel my heartbeat rate has skyrocketed.and like im losing my mind sort of sensation(if i didnt know any better,was it panicattack??)anyways,it continued for a good one week,until there was this moment i came clean with my parents about smoking weed,and its gone now!maybe my guilty conscious was driving me up the wall or wtvr,but yeah your symptoms sound exactly like mine,now everytime i sleep i would wake up 2 3 times in the middle of the night having roughly 2 hours of sleep each time i wake up,and in the morning im no longer anxious but sometimes there would be moments im down and up.but i know i am not going crazyy only because of these 3 blunts!!i always assured myself im fine and just exaggerating,and i understamd my anxiety could only be eliminated through patience,perseverance and logic!!( thanks for the answer)
No problem, and yea i reckon panic attacks aswell.
As for having a guilty consciouse ? maybe it was just that u talked about it and had reassurance.
But your charactor sounds like a honest person who has a conciouse ( definately like myself) and will always want to please others or at least keep them happy (which is impossible to do lol).
Through my experiences i have found that there are some who can smoke weed and always feel good about it with no symtoms like ours and carry on to do so the rest of their lives, maybe they dont have such a big conciouse like ours and so they jus dont care.
So are you on the right track and keeping control now ?
yes that is exactly how i picture myself.i always wanted and please other people especially my family members,i wouldn't dare dissapoint them or even being apart from them for a sec.i dont really know how to expain my condition now,it's like im feeling less anxious in the mornings,like the way i ussually act before i my encounters with pot.but strange,i've been having dificulties sleeping and staying asleep.like i said upon waking up 2 or 3 times in one night,i would feel as if my psyche is being downgraded.and sometimes i would have terrifying dreams(not the ones like demons etc),but usually the ones that get my blood pumping and terrified.what is your opinion on this ?
as far for pot,you can bet your entire life,i wont lay a finger on it anymore.to start with im not even addicted to it,i understand some ppl have an uncontrol impulses over weed,but i would usually think about all the things that make me happy in this life,family,friends and always be grateful of whatever i have and my health(because some people have it way disabling than mine).but as far as keeping control,im not sure.im still abit skeptic what has weed done to me,and hopefully its nothing long term or severe such as schizo or psychosis.
i have a quick question,you say you've been indulging weed for more then 10 years now,have you experienced such thing as'uncontrol impulses'for instance there was this one time,i was high,i got a panic attack and it seems as if there were moments i couldnt keep my thoughts to myself.like i was thinking of something then all of a sudden i realised i just blurred it out.odd but i supposed its one of the effects of weed.and how are hanging up out there ? hopefull your having no troubles recovering :))
yes that is exactly how i picture myself.i always wanted to please other people especially my family members,i wouldn't dare dissapoint them or even being apart from them for a sec.i dont really know how to expain my condition now,it's like im feeling less anxious in the mornings,like the way i usually act before my encounters with pot.but strange,i've been having dificulties sleeping and staying asleep.like i said upon waking up 2 or 3 times in one night,i would feel as if my psyche is being downgraded.and sometimes i would have terrifying dreams(not the ones like demons etc),but usually the ones that get my blood pumping and terrified.what is your opinion on this ?
as far for pot,you can bet your entire life,i wont lay a finger on it anymore.to start with im not even addicted to it,i understand some ppl have an uncontrollable impulses over weed,but i would usually think about all the things that make me happy in this life,family,friends and always be grateful of whatever i have and my health(because some people have it way disabling than mine).but as far as keeping control,im not sure.im still abit skeptic what has weed done to me,and hopefully its nothing long term or severe such as schizo or psychosis.
i have a quick question,you say you've been indulging weed for more then 10 years now,have you experienced such thing as'uncontrollable impulses'for instance there was this one time,i was high,i got a panic attack and it seems as if there were moments i couldnt keep my thoughts to myself.like i was thinking of something then all of a sudden i realised i just blurred it out.odd but i supposed its one of the effects of weed.and how are you hanging up out there ? hopefully your having no troubles recovering :))
yup, i am good (life has ups and downs for every1)
Well just to point out again that i am no doctor and am only giving you my own experiences on what i think so always keep an open mind ok.
But i think because you have only smoked weed a few times i wouldnt even dwell on it no more, your experiences u may have from now on if any ? is what i would like to think they would of happened regardless of smoking weed. For a start you are still growing and your mind is and will always grow with everything you read, see and do etc, it is a really complex piece of engineering if u get my drift ?.
Weed was never addictive for me i just enjoyed the buzz and would get artistic.
I do have times where my cofidience levels go up and down and i am sure will always have, but any anxiety experiences stopped after i acually stopped weed but being out in public has its times if i am not feeling cofidient etc
(but nothing i cant control or handle )
I have a really responsible position and always dealing with technical issues and processes and people so that can make my mind wander and start to think worst case scenarios as i mentioned earlier.
remember i said i knew a few people on a prescriptive drug?, well one is a guy and the other is a female who both take the same tablets (Aropax)
they may have other name not 100% but your GP will know of Aropax. The lady has been on them for approx 5-6 years and i see her everyday, she is a mother of two and is as normal as, they just keep her balanced.
If she comes off them, eventually she has little freak outs where her mind wanders and she thinks worst case what ifs ? which she says comes and goes, even though she knows she would never do the worst case what ifs.
They are not addictive but needs to be prescribed and she has a visit every 3 months with her GP.
So do the words "little Freak outs" relate with your words and experinece you mentioned,,,,,,,,,,,,
Qoute:There were moments you couldnt keep your thoughts to yourself ?????
then all of a sudden you realised so you pulled your self together, you blanked them out etc ???
Now all this i am telling you is only just food for thought ok !
Dont get two hung up with it but if it sounds like your symptoms or experiences then i would recommemned going to a GP and talk to her about it.
And remember, its nothing to be shamed about, there would be so many people with all kinds of syptoms relating with what we sorta have, hence all those adds talking about depression and anxiety disorders etc
Regarding your awakenings during the night and your dreams etc,,, I can tell you that i have times where i will wake suddenly with an awful feeling, as if i was on the brink of dying, hmmm maybe expressed like what u say , my blood pumping, feeling of hmmm like a scare as if i hadent breathed for awhile so thats why i woke hard and fast with that ugly feeling, does all this relate with you ?
PS. Well i must admit i do enjoy talking with you,
I hope i am not writing to much for you and you can understand my words and the way i talk etc ?
Oh not sure what part of the world u live but i am from New Zealand.
oh my i think we're on the same boat,because almost every symptoms you're mentioned corresponded to mine.including the sleeping part and'what if' moments.but rest assured it's all anxiety,even i,sometimes when i sit alone i would do alot of thinking,mostly leading to the what if thoughts and always imagine of the worst outcomes.but like you said,(its nothing i can't control).and logically i understand if i worry of such things(like going crazy,losing my conscious)it means the likely event i wont't develope them.and plus,if i do the same thinking over again when i'm calm,i would find myself less threatened and intimidated by it.and when you mentioned about ups and downs in life,yea i often feel that too,like upon waking up in the morning,i would feel down and depressed,and somewhere in the evening between 5-7,i would get abit anxious and worried,but at night i often feel normal and not bothered by my anxious thoughts.so it's like a cycle.idk about your case but seeing it sounds roughly the same as mine,then what we're having is mostly the same type of illness.i think,it has something to do with our subconscious mind.i think somehow i may have traumatised my psyche.i know it sounds crazy but bare with me,during in this cyclic time(when im anxious),if i do too much thinking,i would feel as if im no longer myself anymore.like pot has transformed me into someone else that pays more attention to his thoughts then his surroundings.im saying this because i realised i've been paying too much attention to my thoughts since my bad experiences with weed.idk wether im even close o the truth but this is what i think.but i understand that our subconscious mind will gradually recover over time.you just need to have positive thinking,grateful of the things you have and if it helps do some community service works.my thoughts are strong on this subject because,really who invented the term mental illness .is depression,anxiety etc are related to mental illness ? or is it just some other habit that we pick up and learn.remember everyone is anxious,and i believe we're created uniquely as an individual.besides,there are tonnes of possibilities why we're feeling this way,deficiency of magnesium and vitamin b12 and 6 for instance.its a large aspect that may truly not understand.thats why up till now im refusing to take any prescribtions,because what they do they will only mask the true illness and act as a short term reliever.what is the strongest and most effective treatment,is our self confidence and self determination,cause nothing could break the power of heart,and since emotions are related to our thoughts then hopefully everything will work out.that's my story and i hope you forgive me for the long 'essay' i prepared for you :P
and for some reason i'm very intrigued and somehow feel comforted with everything you say,cause i can relate to you.oh and im living in malaysia,really close to where you are now right ? but soon,i'll be leavaing for the uk to pursue my mechanical engineering course.so i hope this issue wouldnt interfere with my studies.im really interested as to what your going through,i would feel abit assured if you could list some of your symptoms to me.i would appreciate that :DD (and i definitely understand what your trying to get at)