HOCD, Hi i am a guy that has been constantly worried that i might be gay for 8 months now, i admit i have some same sex attraction but i only have ever thought about dating a women and have gotten turned on by them. is this HOCD?

I also feel like i enjoy the thought but then i dont and feel guilty about it and regret it, and im scared that i might be gay.

Hi Carmine,
It sounds like the fear of being gay is really troubling you. It definitely could be HOCD, although I don't have enough information to say for sure.

It could also be that you are gay. I say that not to contribute to the fear, but with the hope that you can accept the possibility rather than continue to regard it as something "awful and terrible". The more we resist something, the more power we give it, and the more anxiety it creates.

If you can, I really encourage you to talk to a counselor or therapist about your thoughts and feelings, and the anxiety you are experiencing. I also encourage you to engage in some type of aerobic activity regularly. As trite as that sounds, regular exercise such as running or jogging, brisk walking, swimming, or biking will help reduce stress and alleviate some of the anxiety you are experiencing. It's not a cure, but it helps.

I also encourage you to keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings. Just write a little bit every day. Journaling is a good way to process your feelings, which right now, are confusing to you.

Though Prop 8 was overturned months ago, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has kept homosexual marriages from taking place in California while the appeals court reviews the decision to overturn the controversial law. Same sex marriages were banned by Prop 8, but the controversial law was overturned in federal court, where it was declared unconstitutional. Same sex couples may not want to book a venue just yet. The Court of Appeals is likely to take a while before deciding on Prop 8.